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25 December 2011

Merry Christmas

It's the time of caring and sharing again. But this year, the whole family isn't into the mood. It's kind of weird that we didn't have a party this year after so many years of following the tradition. But the moment I think of why, I guess the mood just dissipates. It's the first festive celebration without my aunt. I don't know how long it will take before I get used to it. She has always been there. Just there. I guess I've been taking her for granted that she will always be there.

Looking at my cousin... I'm worried about her. Her brother and dad are starting work on Tuesday. She'll be all alone at home. I guess I'll go accompany her more. When school starts... I will decide what to do. I need to work too. Guess I'll wait for a week more before tackling all these.

They say bad things come in threes. I hope not. I don't think I can take it anymore. And I definitely don't want to bother anyone. I guess I'll have to become stronger.

tsubasa^^ I can't even fake my smile anymore


~ { 1:53 AM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


21 December 2011

To my beloved aunt

Today, we say goodbye to my dearest aunt. Tears that we have been trying to keep fell freely during the procession. Watching as the van carries her coffin away, it feels as though a part of me is going away too. Guma, you have been a huge and an important part of my life that it will not be the same without you. I used to see you everyday and now I have to get used to not seeing you everyday.

I can still remember when I was young and when ting calls you mommy and I asked why I could not call you the same. In the end, I ended up creating a nickname for you: gugu mama- my aunt + mommy. You must know that you are like a mom to me. You have spent your entire life taking care of us and doting on us. I remember how you kept all the gifts I gave you for various occasions. I remember the times when you took the bus with me all the way to school during my secondary school days. You would wake up and come fetch me at 6am in the morning just to accompany me to the school gate. And each journey was at least half an hour long. I remember how you help me with my math homework when I was young and that you always encouraged me in my studies. I remember you as always being cheerful and happy and I remember all the good times we had.

Guma, you have accumulated so much happiness and friends during your entire sixty years of life. We all came together to celebrate your life. Do not worry about ting and qy. We will look out for ting and qy will look after her too. We will look after one another always. And I will look after both yu and xuan do please do not worry.

We touched you one last time at the crematorium today. We all were reluctant to let you go but I know you are at peace now and will look over us in the heavens with sh gor gor and ah gong and ah yi. You have had a busy sixty years this life so I hope that you will reincarnate into a good family and have a better next life. Let all the blessings fall on you.

I love you guma. I will go and visit sh gor gor for you on his birthday each year and convey your wishes to him. I will go visit you on your birthday too. Celebrate life and not death, the wy you prefer it. Rest in peace my dearest aunt. I will miss you everyday.

Regards,
Xf

~ { 11:38 PM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


15 December 2011

My heart aches

I feel so useless watching my aunt. She looks so frail... With her oxygen tubes and wheelchair. And I don't even know how to talk to her like before. It seems like we can't pretend everything is normal anymore. I don't know what to say to her, how to comfort her. Just hearing her voice so weak... It's nothing like it was before.

I wonder if our family offended the gods or heavens or whatever divine in our previous lives. One disaster after the next. We don't deserve this. My aunt doesn't deserve this. She's the kindest and most wonderful person I've ever known. Life is so unfair to her!!! If only I have the means... To help to heal to save.

tsubasa^^ I need the power to heal

~ { 5:08 PM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


14 December 2011

When I see a shooting star

Met xl and e1 for a girls' shopping trip today! Okay we went to b. street and honestly, there isn't much clothes for us. We went on to talking about how fast we've grown up and the things that have changed. Really, alot of things and especially people have changed. I, myself, did change alot. Whether or not I like the new me, I seriously have no idea. I just have to explore and see.

After this a-bit-fail-but-fun shopping trip, we went home and met the rest of the gang at night for a meteor shower viewing :):) okay yh went home before we actually started looking for shooting stars but we sure had an interesting time watching the sorcerer's apprentice at e1's house. Ended up skyping je and e2. How I miss them so! Can't wait for them to be home and we'll all hang out together again :):)

Meteor shower viewing was quite disappointing since it was too cloudy and the moon was too bright. But we still managed to catch at least 1 shooting stars each and we've made our wishes :) I hope they come true. And omg we actually ended up ordering supper from al ameen (the nus one) all the way to twins' house haha! Guess we just miss the good old camp food hehe. Stuffed to the brim but it was satisfying. Maggie goreng at 2am is the greatest haha!

We talked about growing old and what we are doing with our lives. I have no idea what's going on with mine but I sure want to see it move towards the results of what I may want them to be. We shall see in due course. If not I may have given up and shall not be seen anymore.

tsubasa^^ no one cheers me up as quickly as my nonet gang :) love you all!

~ { 4:11 AM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


12 December 2011

Hey you

Stop being so irresponsible can? What's with you sleeping until 2pm and then lying there waiting for lunch and dinner to be served while doing nothing and acting like a princess? You ate not a princess and we are not your servants. So please get off your high horse and start doing something around the house to make yourself useful. I'd have prefer that you go out and work rather than waste your days away. Not that I'm looking down on you but you seriously think that your results can get you into uni? Stop being the immature brat and implying that the others instead of you are immature. You are 19. Not 9. Calling others anything implies that you are the same thing. Understand?

I seriously hope that you understand the situation at home and start helping out a little. Don't push me too far until I'm gone and the you will know the. meaning of responsibility! I'm angry ttm now. Don't make me scream at you and say goodbye.

tsubasa^^ this is the last time I'm doing anything for you. the next time would be goodbye.

~ { 5:58 PM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


11 December 2011

To LXY my good friend and sister :):)

Wanted to post this yesterday but I got caught up :/ anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XY!

Thanks for being my friend and I'm so going to miss you next sem! I wouldn't have a great uni life without you in it :):) don't forget about us once you start working ah ;p best wishes and good luck!!!

Love you always,
Xf

~ { 4:29 AM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


09 December 2011

【那些年,我們一起追的女孩】電影主題曲《那些年》官方正式MV


~ { 6:42 PM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


A-Lin"我們會更好"MV


~ { 6:42 PM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


Going out with ai gang is always a lot of fun!!!

Went out today for ai gathering today! As always we have the rule of treating gong cha for the person who's late and it turned out to be me lol!!! Okay technically I wasn't late cause I reached 45 minutes earlier :/ got nabbed by two people for some health survey. They run this new concept breakfast thing that replaces meals with protein shakes. Made me drink three while glasses that I'm super bloated lol!

Okay after which we went shopping awhile while waiting for our show to start at 5pm. The muppets! All of us had the same thought: are we watching the correct show cause the movie started with toy story?!? After which the actual movie was so silly that we laughed all the way. Plot was predictable but the last part of the movie was okay. Laughter is good :)

Went to s11 at killiney road for zi char- the place where I always go with my thirteens. Food wasn't bad and we had alot of fun taking funny photos! So pretty and handsome :P went cold stone for dessert but I didn't eat. Stomach upset woe is me :/

Going out with ai gang is always so funny and so happy that I end up forgetting everything else :):) thanks people! Although xy is leaving sch and I may be very busy starting next sem working, let's get together often cause I really need you people. You all make my day!!!

tsubasa^^ it's great to have good friends

~ { 12:38 AM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


All about Pisceans: ask-oracle.com it&apos;s kind of true! Mostly haha!

Qualities and Characteristics:

Pisceans have a tendency to get pulled in two opposite directions. This inhibits their decision taking capability. They are quite open-minded towards their work and personal life, and demonstrate an immaculate insight and vision in material, technical and spiritual aspects.

You have a particular artistic sophistication, which means that you have creativity with a polished edge. Your special characteristic is your love for beautiful things in life, and also a particular day-dreaming and inconsistent trait. You are too soft hearted and willingly help anyone in distress; this might also lead to problems to you because of your inability to say ‘no’. Even with the introspective and intuitive edge, you are moody and restless at times.
Some depressions and dissatisfactions might lead you to pity yourself and escape from the distresses in life through drug addiction or drinking. You have a great inner strength, you only need to exhume it. You share your resources with others, even money, and think that others should do the same. The boundaries of possession are sometimes invisible or altogether meaningless to Pisceans, thus turning some into forgers and embezzlers.

Qualities that make you lucky are caring, progressive, benevolent, and imaginative. Qualities that hinder your success are undecided, casual, not practical, and easygoing.


Personality:

In this matter, Pisces are ruled by instinct and emotion. Pisces are not one to sit in a judge’s chair and think about the partner-to-be objectively – you are too romantic for that. What you do is rush straight into it, and think later. Ill advised, but when it comes to love, there is no bound to your emotions, you just cannot control yourself. This impulsive nature is greatly loved by all those you couple with, at least as long as the two of you are together. And this is how it works – when you are young, you have all the impulse and verve in the whole world and ‘leap before you look’ would seem to be the motto of your love life; but as life goes on, with all the cuts and bruises you have suffered in the name of love, you will learn to be cautious.

This issue eclipses all others in relationship matters for you. And the answer to this problem is simple – try to think practically. I know it’s hard for you, so whenever you feel a strong impulse, just count to ten – relax! When the situation tends to get a little too hot to handle and it feels like all that talk about self restrain is just not working for you, try to let go of it – take a time out. This is not the same as running away from your demons. Time has a way of clearing the mist and removing the cobwebs. When you are not in the proximity of your ‘lover’, you will be free from blinding emotions, and be able to think clearly about your coherence with him/her, and if it has a future.

Now, if you end up with the wrong person, it will be difficult for you to realize that in time and make amends. But why should you end up with the wrong guy/gal? An important factor here is your too-good nature. You are willing to go to any level, and make any sacrifice in order to make the relationship work. This attitude might attract many a people who are not really worthy of .. you! So there are quite a lot many things you need to learn, I’m afraid, the hard way. Good luck!

Friendship compatibility:

If you are a piscean, you will be a friend cherished and loved by all your friends. Not only are you ready to put a great deal of energy and time into the friendship, but you are also ready to listen and give a shoulder to cry on to your friends. You are always willing to make sacrifices for the sake of your friends. You make their problems your problems. So the good friends will appreciate all you do, and reciprocate in full measure, but there will always be the other ones looking out and trying to take advantage. And unfortunately, you are one of the gullible kind – you find it really hard to make out the honest kind of friends from the opportunists.

Now there is this creative and artistic side of yours we talked about. This means that you like being encouraged by your friends. This works the other way around too – you find it easier to make friends with those who can take interest and sympathise with your interests, emotions and impulses. All and all, you naturally are inclined to get closer to someone who is one the same ground as you. In the whole broader picture, you are helping yourself gain in confidence and achieve whatever it is you want in life. There is the negative side to this too – you need friends who have interests similar to yours. So they might sometimes tend to feign interest in things that they couldn’t care less about – this might lead to awkward or heartbreaking moments.

Pisces, however need to make a conscious effort to get their personal life straight. You tend to be late on appointments, and then appear flustered and embarrased when you arrive. You are of course an excellent friend, one to be treasured, but your mistakes may get a little too irritating for your friends for them to be able to forgive you. A little discipline here would not go amiss. You are a great friend, but you also need to make it easy for your friends to go along with you.

Love and Romance:

In this matter, Pisces are ruled by instinct and emotion. Pisces are not one to sit in a judge’s chair and think about the partner-to-be objectively – you are too romantic for that. What you do is rush straight into it, and think later. Ill advised, but when it comes to love, there is no bound to your emotions, you just cannot control yourself. This impulsive nature is greatly loved by all those you couple with, at least as long as the two of you are together. And this is how it works – when you are young, you have all the impulse and verve in the whole world and ‘leap before you look’ would seem to be the motto of your love life; but as life goes on, with all the cuts and bruises you have suffered in the name of love, you will learn to be cautious.

This issue eclipses all others in relationship matters for you. And the answer to this problem is simple – try to think practically. I know it’s hard for you, so whenever you feel a strong impulse, just count to ten – relax! When the situation tends to get a little too hot to handle and it feels like all that talk about self restrain is just not working for you, try to let go of it – take a time out. This is not the same as running away from your demons. Time has a way of clearing the mist and removing the cobwebs. When you are not in the proximity of your ‘lover’, you will be free from blinding emotions, and be able to think clearly about your coherence with him/her, and if it has a future.

Now, if you end up with the wrong person, it will be difficult for you to realize that in time and make amends. But why should you end up with the wrong guy/gal? An important factor here is your too-good nature. You are willing to go to any level, and make any sacrifice in order to make the relationship work. This attitude might attract many a people who are not really worthy of .. you! So there are quite a lot many things you need to learn, I’m afraid, the hard way. Good luck!

Marriage (kind of weird since I'm not married duh haha):

When it comes to marriage, I am assuming that the you, the Piscean, have found the right one for you after a certain number of trials and errors. Congratulations! Now you need to learn the ABC’s of married life. And the A is – Always maintain your identity in spite of the marriage. If it’s important for one to maintain his/her identity in a relationship, it’s even more so when it comes to marriage. There are those who say that after the marriage, there is no place for ‘I’ – the two I’s turn into a ‘WE’. But they are not you; you are you and you know that it is very easy for you to mould into your partner’s personality and become his/her mouthpiece. You can forget your own likes and dislikes to please your partner; and as much as you may seem to be doing all this out of your own free will, it is not good for your mental well-being. Suppressing your ambitions and pleasures is not good after a certain level.

On a lighter note, you are very easy to live with, even with your sometimes unorganizedand untidy way of life. Your partner may accuse you of being too casual about things that ought to be taken seriously, and not be totally wrong. But that’s you – you are not deliberately negligent, you just think there are more important things to do.

When it comes to parenthood, you are not negligent of your duties at all – you make sure you give your kids every opportunity to learn and perform. But you have a way of spoiling your kids – not by giving them to much material stuff and spending too much on them, but by giving them too much love. Nothing wrong with that, except for the fact that in your eyes, they can do no wrong. So when they actually do something wrong, like spoiling their grades, may be, then it comes as a rude shock to you. So with time, you need to learn how to teach your child a little self-discipline and the virtues of hardwork and honesty.

Career and Money:

Pisceans have a very characteristic set of needs and motivating factors, which seems quite different from those of other sun-signs. So, they need to take special care in choosing their field of work so that they can work towards the fulfillment of these needs, and making the most out of their professional lives. Pisceans have a strong sense of vocation, then need to put their heart and soul into their work. And when they work with this sort of dedication, they can be terribly let down by any sort of obstruction. They can work with very little pay, as long as they are allowed to derive the most from their job.
Another very important aspect of the Piscean way of life is believing in something, and making sacrifices for it. I have said that the Piscean can give up his/her career in order to look after the children, but now I say that the Piscean is also capable of sacrificing his/her hopes of getting married and raising a family for an important social cause, or a career in some form of art that he/she might be dedicated to. All the Piscean kindness and warmth is seen in their work.

This of course is a very noble and ideal way of life, but some Pisceans sometimes get caught up in the rat-race of life. They start doing what everyone else does, running after money and power and pelf like everyone else. But as and when they do it, they will surely realize that this way of life is not for their benefit. The hustle and bustle, and the noisy, tense atmosphere of a typical workplace is not the ideal hunting ground for them. They need to be left on their own, with no demands or deadlines to be met, and they will come up with the best, not with an aim of impressing anyone or accumulating anything, but just for the common good. So works the Piscean mind, and this ought to be understood most of all by the bosses, who tend to force things on everyone.

A special note on the great creative potential of the Piscean – most often it is wasted, unless backed by a very strong impulse. But even when there is the impulse, the talent needs to be nurtured and encouraged, lest it be lost in due course.

~ { 12:30 AM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


06 December 2011

我假装我听不到

I can't hear. I'm deaf. I can't hear. I'm deaf.

I have enough problems on my plate now. So don't you all add more to it please. I'm begging. I don't want to know. I don't want to listen. I want to run away. Leave for the whole day from morning till night. So I won't have to listen.

tsubasa^^ xl I really want to cry howww

~ { 11:50 PM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


05 December 2011

Happy birthday TYL!

To my lamest cousin in the family: happy 17th birthday!!! How come you like cannot study finish de? Haha! So long le still 17?!? It's good to have your birthday at the end of the year :):) have a great birthday and we love you!

Love, your always-taller-than-you cousin ;p

~ { 12:24 AM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


Lonely

When the night sneaks up on you and you have nobody to talk to. When you realize all your friends are coupling off and you feel like a third wheel. When you are sad and nobody knows it. When you cry and nobody sees it. That’s when you realize that you are lonely.

But I have great friends and cool cousins who will talk to me :):) maybe I'm not that lonely after all!

tsubasa^^ loneliness is sometimes a self-imposed situation but at other times, it is forced upon you

~ { 12:22 AM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


03 December 2011

Cuzzies fun

I finally have a cheerful post to write! :):) haha! Being with my cousins is always one of the best ways to cheer me up. We had a lot of fun scouring for not-yet-born-but-soon-will-be baby nephew's gift in the various kiddy palaces! Matthias is going to come out and meet us soon :):)

It's been a long time since we cousins went out as a group but our outings always end up with us laughing and joking with one another ridiculously! Haha! I had so much fun hanging out with you all. You all made me forget my worries and sad things. Thanks lots loves! Lunch and dinner were fantabulous! Hot tomato let's go back there again ;)

I'm sorry that I can't join you all at the airport tomorrow night :/ although I promised you all first. Oh well. Family over friends anytime! I love you all! If I need you all tomorrow night I will SMS/call/whatsapp/line you all. Thanks for chasing away my troubles for today!

tsubasa^^ thank the lord for family love

~ { 11:47 PM }
remembering the days when u were by my side


02 December 2011

why am i so weak these days?

that is a 64000$ question. look at me. crying easily, getting mad easily, getting depressed easily. this is not me. i don't want to be like this. my recent posts are all so depressing. where did my own bubbly self go to?

i'm supposed to be a happy, cheerful, responsible and mature girl. in short, i'm supposed to be an adult for goodness sake. look at me. i'm 21 turning 22 soon. stop behaving like a child. i have responsibilities heaped on my brainless head. so start transforming into the adult i'm supposed to be please. i'm begging myself.

that's it. i don't know what i'm fighting for now. maybe withdrawing myself to reflect is a good choice now. or maybe i should just run away. i don't know what to do anymore. or rather, don't know what i can do anymore.

tsubasa^^ don't look for me when i'm gone

~ { 11:44 PM }
remembering the days when u were by my side