I am scared.

I need to go look for work now. I mean right now. Or else I can't go hong kong, can't go Australia, can't even go out with my friends. So im sorry friends if I decide last minute to back out. I can't help it. Everything is tumbling down. I am scared. Have never been this scared before.

But. I have a dowager at home to take care of. Plus my two sisters. How to take care of them and work at the same time? Yu is so much less responsible but she'll be the only adult at home if I go work. What if she gets one of her whims and just go out? That'll leave the two people who don't know how to take care of themselves and each other at home. Perhaps I shall take on more tuition. I really don't know what to do now. I'm tired.

Crying is of no use now. I need to get up and go. I want to run away. But I'm shackled to this place.

taubasa^^ what should I do.

Greek Mythology- The Olympian Gods

This is fascinating and I love Greek mythologies :):) all information are taken from Greekmythology.com :)

The Olympians are a group of 12 gods who ruled after the overthow of the Titans. All the Olympians are related in some way. They are named after their dwelling place Mount Olympus.

Zeus:
Zeus was the god of the sky and ruler of the Olympian gods. Zeus overthrew his Father Cronus. He then drew lots with his brothers Poseidon and Hades. Zeus won the draw and became the supreme ruler of the gods. He is lord of the sky. His weapon is a thunderbolt which he hurls at those who displease him. He is married to Hera but is famous for his many affairs. He is also known to punish those that lie or break oaths. He was the rain god, and the cloud gatherer, who wielded the terrible thunderbolt. His breastplate was the aegis, his bird the eagle, his tree the oak. He is represented as the god of justice and mercy, the protector of the weak, and the punisher of the wicked.

Poseidon:
Poseidon is te brother of Zeus. God of the sea, protector of all waters. He was widely worshiped by seamen. He married Amphitrite, a granddaughter of the Titan Oceanus. At one point he desired Demeter. To put him off Demeter asked him to make the most beautiful animal that the world had ever seen. So to impress her Poseidon created the first horse. In some accounts his first attempts were unsucessful and created a varity of other animals in his quest. By the time the horse was created his passion for Demeter had cooled. His weapon is a trident, which can shake the earth, and shatter any object. He is second only to Zeus in power amongst the gods. He has a difficult quarrelsome personality. He was greedy. He had a series of disputes with other gods when he tried to take over their cities.

Hades:
Hades is the brother of Zeus. He had the worst draw and was made lord of the underworld, ruling over the dead. He is a greedy god who is greatly concerned with increasing his subjects. Those whose calling increase the number of dead are seen favorably. The Erinnyes are welcomed guests. He is exceedingly disinclined to allow any of his subjects leave. He is also the god of wealth, due to the precious metals mined from the earth. He has a helmet that makes him invisible. He rarely leaves the underworld. He is unpitying and terrible, but not capricious. His wife is Persephone whom Hades abducted. He is the King of the dead but, death itself is another god, Thanatos.

Hestia:
Hestia is Zeus' sister. She is a virgin goddess. She does not have a distinct personality. She plays no part in myths. She is the Goddess of the Hearth, the symbol of the house around which a new born child is carried before it is received into the family. Each city had a public hearth sacred to Hestia, where the fire was never allowed to go out. Of all the Olympians, she is the mildest, most upright and most charitable.

Hera:
Hera is Zeus' wife. They have a daughter named Hebe. Hebe is the goddess of youth. She along with Ganymede are the cupbearers to the gods. She is also Hercules' wife.

Ares:
Ares is the son of Zeus and Hera. He was disliked by both parents. He is the god of war. He is considered murderous and bloodstained but, also a coward. When caught in an act of adultery with Aphrodite her husband Hephaestus is able to publically ridicule him. His bird is the vulture. His animal is the dog.

Athena:
Athena is the Greek virgin goddess of reason, intelligent activity, arts and literature. Athena is the daughter of Zeus. She sprang full grown in armour from his forehead, thus has no mother. She is fierce and brave in battle but, only wars to defend the state and home from outside enemies. She is the goddess of the city, handicrafts, and agriculture. She invented the bridle, which permitted man to tame horses, the trumpet, the flute, the pot, the rake, the plow, the yoke, the ship, and the chariot. She is the embodiment of wisdom, reason, and purity. She was Zeus's favorite child and was allowed to use his weapons including his thunderbolt. Her favorite city is Athens. Her tree is the olive. The owl is her bird.

Apollo:
Apollo is the son of Zeus and Leto. His twin sister is Artemis. He is the god of music, playing a golden lyre. The Archer, far shooting with a silver bow. The god of healing who taught man medicine. The god of light. The god of truth, who can not speak a lie. One of Apollo's more important daily tasks is to harness his chariot with four horses an drive the Sun across the sky. He is famous for his oracle at Delphi. People travled to it from all over the greek world to devine the future. His tree was the laurel. The crow his bird. The dolphin his animal.

Artemis:
She was goddess of chastity, virginity, the hunt, the moon, and the natural environment. Artemis is the daughter of Zeus and Leto. Her twin brother is Apollo. She is the lady of the wild things. She is the huntsman of the gods. She is the protector of the young. Like Apollo she hunts with silver arrows. She became associated with the moon. She also presides over childbirth, which may seem odd for a virgin, but goes back to causing Leto no pain when she was born. She became associated with Hecate. The cypress is her tree. All wild animals are scared to her, especially the deer.

Aphrodite:
Aphrodite is the goddess of love, desire and beauty. In addition to her natural gifts she has a magical girdle that compels anyone she wishes to desire her. There are two accounts of her birth. One says she is the daughter of Zeus and Dione. The other goes back to when Cronus castrated Uranus and tossed his severed genitles into the sea. Aphrodite then arose from the sea foam on a giant scallop and walked to shore in Cyprus. She is the wife of Hephaestus. The myrtle is her tree. The dove, the swann, and the sparrow her birds. Her favorite lover is the god of war, Ares. She represented sex, affection, and the attraction that binds people together.

Hephaestus:
Hephaestus is the son of Zeus and Hera. Sometimes it is said that Hera alone produced him and that he has no father. He is the only god to be physically ugly. He is also lame. Accounts as to how he became lame vary. Some say that Hera, upset by having an ugly child, flung him from Mount Olympus into the sea, breaking his legs. Others that he took Hera's side in an arguement with Zeus and Zeus flung him off Mount Olympus. He is the god of fire and the forge. He is the smith and armorer of the gods. He uses a volcano as his forge. He is the patron god of both smiths and weavers. He is kind and peace loving. His wife is Aphrodite.

Hermes:
He was the cleverest of the Olympian gods, and messenger to all the other gods. Hermes is the son of Zeus and Maia. He is Zeus messenger. He is the fastest of the gods. He wears winged sandals, a winged hat, and carries a magic wand. He is the god of thieves and god of commerce. He is the guide for the dead to go to the underworld. He invented the lyre, the pipes, the musical scale, astronomy , weights and measures, boxing, gymnastics, and the care of olive trees.

Labels: Greekmythology.com

Catching up after exams

Exams are finally over! I am feeling ever so relieved that I have maybe 6 weeks of holidays to look forward to. That is if I do not have to look for work.

Went Clementi mall to have ichiban sushi with my ai group :) we all ate until super super full and had a fun time talking and joking! After went to sing Kbox (yeah yeah I know again but who cares who had fun) but we did more talking than singing haha! Dinner was a joy as we ate our coupons special in KFC. I think this is one of the rare times that I actually ate in a fastfood restaurant lol! Watched immortal after dinner. It was a good show- awesome despite being gruesome. Twisted the Greek mythology here and there but still good overall.

Oh and did I forget to mention that I bumped into a pervert peeping Tom in the girls' toilet??? I was on my way in and saw this uncle squatting down and looking under the cubicle door of another girl oh my god. He jumped up and ran away immediately after seeing me and stupid me stood rooted to the spot and forgot to give chase -.- I should be more alert my goodness. Lesson learnt today: never go into the toilet alone. Grab a partner.

So much has happened at home and I seriously owe xy and kl my story. But I shall tell them personally next time. Today was sort of a rush and catching up so I didn't bring it up. Thank you two for asking after me and worrying about me. Family issues galore to solve now and I haven't decided what to do. I need time to think it over and have a good cry first. But nothing can mar the joy of ending exams for me today. I really enjoyed myself with ai. I love you all :)

tsubasa^^ looking for my stars tonight

Prioritizing

So this is how you prioritize. Frankly, I am disappointed. If you even understand the meaning of the word, you should know what comes first. At this stage we are at, you should know what is more important. I have no idea what is going on in your mind and I shall not interfere. Do what you deem best. I do not care anymore. I am so angry. At you, at myself.

tsubasa^^ I'm disappointed in myself too

for GJXW my bro :)

happy birthday!!!

old man old man haha!!! :p always believe in yourself and that you can do anything once you build up your confidence and put your mind into it :) and stop being so secretive!!!

good luck in everything you do and best wishes!!! oh and jiayou for the upcoming exams too!

tsubasa^^08-11-11 you are officially one year older!!!

Pisces

Traditional
Pisces Traits

Imaginative and sensitive
Compassionate and kind
Selfless and unworldly
Intuitive and sympathetic

On the dark side....

Escapist and idealistic
Secretive and vague
Weak-willed and easily led

Pisces,
Pisceans possess a gentle, patient, malleable nature. They have many generous qualities and are friendly, good natured, kind and compassionate, sensitive to the feelings of those around them, and respond with the utmost sympathy and tact to any suffering they encounter. They are deservedly popular with all kinds of people, partly because their easygoing, affectionate, submissive natures offer no threat or challenge to stronger and more exuberant characters. They accept the people around them and the circumstances in which they find themselves rather than trying to adapt them to suit themselves, and they patiently wait for problems to sort themselves out rather than take the initiative in solving them. They are more readily concerned with the problems of others than with their own.

Their natures tend to be too otherworldly for the practical purposes of living in this world as it is. They sometimes exist emotionally rather than rationally, instinctively more than intellectually (depending on how they are aspected). They long to be recognized as greatly creative. They also dislike disciple and confinement. The nine-to-five life is not for them. Any rebellion they make against convention is personal, however, as they often times do not have the energy or motivation to battle against the Establishment.

Pisceans tend to withdraw into a dream world where their qualities can bring mental satisfaction and sometimes, fame and financial reward for they are extremely gifted artistically. They are also versatile and intuitive, have quick understanding, observe and listen well, and are receptive to new ideas and atmospheres. All these factors can combine to produce remarkable creativity in literature, music and art. They may count among their gifts mediumistic qualities which can give them a feeling that their best work comes from outside themselves, "Whispered beyond the misted curtains, screening this world from that." Even when they cannot express themselves creatively they have a greater than average instinct for, and love of, beauty in art and nature, a catlike appreciation of luxury and pleasure, and a yearning for new sensations and travel to remote, exotic places.

They are never egotistical in their personal relationships and give more than they ask from their friends. They are sexually delicate, in the extreme almost asexual, and most Pisceans would want a relationship in which the partner's mind and spirit rather than the body resonated with their own. Unfortunately they can be easily misled by a lover who courts them delicately and in marriage makes them unhappy by a coarser sexuality than they expected. They are nevertheless intensely loyal and home-loving and will remain faithful.

In their employment they are better working either by themselves or in subordinate positions. Their talents are individual in a commercial business or similar undertaking. They would be afraid to manage more than a small department, worrying always that they would fail in a crisis. They can make fair secretaries and bookkeepers.

Their sympathy equips them for work in charities catering for the needy, as nurses looking after the sick and as veterinary surgeons caring for animals. As librarians or astronomers they can satisfy their mental wanderlust, and their fondness for "faraway places with strange-sounding names" may turn them into sailors or travellers. Many architects and lawyers are Pisceans, and when the creative abilities are combined with gifts of imitation and the ability to enter into the feelings of others, Pisceans find their fulfillment on the stage. Their psychic and spiritual qualities can lead them into careers in the church or as mediums and mystics. They may find an outlet for their creativity as caterers, and are said to make good detectives because they can imagine themselves in the place of criminals and understand how their minds would work. In technical occupations they are well employed in dealing with anaesthetics, fluids, gases and plastics. Because of their lively versatility and inability to concentrate overmuch on any one project, Pisceans often simultaneously follow more than one occupation.

LIKES

Solitude to dream in
Mystery in all its guises
Anything discarded to stay discarded
The ridiculous
Likes to get 'lost'

DISLIKES

The obvious
Being criticized
Feeling all at sea about something
Know-it-alls
Pedantry

Problems that may arise for you, and their solutions

As with all sun signs, we all have unique traits to our personalities. When these traits are suppressed, or unrealized, problems will arise. However, with astrology we can examine the problem and assess the proper solution based on the sun sign characteristics. As a Pisces you may see things below that really strike home. Try the solution, you most likely will be amazed at the results. If you find yourself on the receiving end of the negatives below, it is because you are failing to express the positive.

Problem: You find yourself being walked on or over in all manner of ways.

Solution: Try to reorient your thinking and assert yourself in a quiet, reserved manner that is more impressive than blustering.
Problem: Never seeming to have enough money to round out the week with much less the month even though your salary is on a par with everyone else'.

Solution: You are prone to act as if you have more than you actually do and tend to spend that which you do not have or need for other things. Forgo some of the parties and make a strict budget to put yourself on.

Problem: A strong sense of despair not shared by family and friends, thus leaving you with that all alone feeling.

Solution: You must come out of yourself and open up to those around you, you have the power to inspire others making you an important part of the human race; take your rightful place.
Problem: Causing others to be quarrelsome or to walk out on you all together.

Solution: The upstream fish may be pushing too hard for someone to meet your ideals and could wind up pushing people right out of your life. Try lightning up.

Ruling Planet

Neptune
Mean Distance from the Sun(AU) 30.109
Sidereal period of orbit(years) 164.79
Equatorial Radius(km) 24764
Polar Radius(km) 24340
Body rotation period(hours) 16.11
Tilt of equator to orbit(degrees) 28.8
Number of observed satellites 8

Some more interesting facts about your sign

The animal associated with your sign is the fish,(actually two fish swimming in different directions). Fish have long been a food staple and it is also associated with Christianity as a symbol, the two fishes swimming in opposite directions points up the inner tensions of the sign of Pisces.

The color of choice for Pisces is Soft Sea green.

Your star stone is the precious Moonstone. They are not brilliant stones, in fact, all of the specimens, from the peach and grays to the gem-quality blue and rainbow-colored pieces, are soft and translucent. The physical appearance of a stone often suggests its spiritual qualities, and moonstone's most important attribute is the ability to assist us in calming and soothing the emotions. When one has achieved a state of emotional calmness, this stone may be used to open a path to an intuitive understanding of spirituality.

tsubasa^^ i can't believe i'm a piscean down to my soul haha!

the pressure is on

it is just another 16 more days to the start of exams and i can feel the pressure steamrolling me and leaving me as the wreck behind. so much readings undone and here i am typing away on my computer venting my frustration. wasting time but i do not really care haha! okay i am so going crazy.

well, another 25 more days till the end of exams so instead of counting down from 16 i will count down from 25. it seems so much more fun doing it this way :) i shall now disappear to get another chapter of aliens into my head. better than doing nothing. lol.

so much has happened and i have had my heart and mind ripped out from inside and put back again these past few months. the semester is coming to an end. what is past, is past. we shall not swell on it and move forward to a brand new beginning. wholly focused on studying now and nothing else will disturb me. not now and not in the future. i am closing off my heart. it gets shattered too easily.

tsubasa^^ we shall fight the enemy called exams

A little lost

I have been feeling a little lost recently. It's as though I just realized that I don't really belong anywhere. It's a weird thinking and feeling, I know. Cause I will always belong somewhere as I am loved. Not that I will ever forget that. But still, this naggy feeling won't go away. Seeing my friends walking in front, I didn't have the urge to catch up with them. It's like I'm in a surreal environment watching something happening and I can't control it. Weird. I blame it on the weather! Lol! Okay no time to think about too much stuff since exam's coming and I have alot of studying to catch up with :/

tsubasa^^ lost in my own thoughts